Q: HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER?
A: YOU BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
A: SUBORDINATE CLAUSES.

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
A: QUATTRO SINKO.

Q: WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
A: SPOILED MILK.

Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
A: FROSTBITE.

Q: WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?
A: A NERVOUS WRECK.

Q: WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
A: RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT HIM.

Q: WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
A: BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS.

Q: WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE?
A: BECAUSE IT SCARES THEIR DOG.

Q: WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?
A: SANKA.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER?
A: THE LOCATION OF THE DIRT BAG.

Q: WHY DID PILGRIMS' PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN?
A: BECAUSE THEY WORE THEIR BELT BUCKLE ON THEIR HAT.

Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER?
A: A BAD GOLFER GOES, WHACK, DAMN!
A BAD SKYDIVER GOES DAMN! WHACK.

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS?
A: SKEET.

Q: WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP?
A: AN AMISH DRIVE-BY SHOOTING

Q: HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME?
A: SOMEBODY'S GONNA LOSE A TRAILER!