15 WAYS TO CONFUSE YOUR ROOMMATE
1. Sit up. Say, "time to make the donuts." Leave.
Do this often.
2. Every five minutes, get up, open the door, peek out,
close the door and look relieved.
3. Express an extreme fear of sunlight. Move away from
and flinch at areas of the room that are sunny.
4. Pick up the phone every five minutes and say, "hello."
Look confused and hang up.
5. Unwrap a candy bar. Eat the wrapper and throw the
chocolate away.
6. When listening to the radio, sing along with different
lyrics and a different tune.
7. Address your roommate by a different name every time
you talk to him or her
8. Constantly drink from an empty glass.
9. Every time you handle something of your roommate's,
use a tissue or gloves.
10. While unlocking your door with the key, complain that
the engine won't start.
11. Name your animal crackers. Mourn for them after you
eat them.
12. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take
the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting
matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss
the situation.
13. Try to make meals using your roommate's electric blanket.
14. Put black tape over the eyes of the people in your roommate's
pictures. Complain that they were staring at you.
15. Everytime your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, wake him or
her up and say, "it's time to go to bed now."