HOLY HAWG!!!! A NEW WAR PLAN

An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought the Islamic terrorist attacks by burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the Islamic belief is that if one's body is buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking. If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell.

Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon and assault efforts may be more successful. Apparently Muslims dislike the very sight of pigs A LOT! They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we can spike their water supply with a few thousands gallons of vodka, get them shit-faced and turn the pigs loose.

The war would be over in a weekend. Picture Attached